Money for gold

Dearest Fifi:

I can’t believe it has been several months since you have received a missive from me. You must be filled with worry!  Oh, Fifi, I have truly missed you. I just don’t feel like myself when we are out of touch for so long.   A  day doesn’t go by that I don’t think of you and make several toasts in your name.

The last few months my life has been strangely full of prayer and meditation and the secret exchange of  money for gold. 

It’s so difficult to explain how I end up in some of the places I do. Some times it’s a case of  feeling  bit out of sorts with things or it could be the excitement of doing something unexpected or it could be that I am down right bored out of my ever loving mind and need to shake the world by it’s axis.  And sometimes it is a matter of life or death. What has kept us apart, Fifi, has been a matter of life or death. Not mine, of course, well, not until the end, but what started it all was a phone call followed by a rather hasty decision to do the unthinkable!

A dear friend of mine, Tinsley, phoned one evening begging for my help. She was headed off on an extended vacation and was adamant that I go with her. She was down right out of her delicately balanced mind, talking a mile a minute and saying if I don’t go with her on this vacation, her life would be over!  Only men say that sort of thing to me so I knew this was an emergency situation. Of course I agreed to go because that is just the kind of friend I am. I promised her a few sips of something very lovely would start to fix whatever was bothering her. Oh dear, Fifi, I have to chuckle out loud when I think back to saying those words.

Saturday morning her car pulled around, her driver placed my bags in the trunk and off we went. I had asked several times where we are going and all Tinsley would tell me is that it’s a lovely exclusive spa and resort and that she can get some much needed rest there. Rest indeed! After several hours of driving  through upper New York we finally arrived. Just as we stepped into  the front entrance I suggested to Tinsley that before we even saw our rooms, we catch a quick drink at the bar and get our bearings. Of course I want her to start  feeling better immediately and a few sips of something lovely would start the trick!

What kind of estate is quiet, serene, tranquil, you know, all those words that paint the picture of spiritual healing? Yes, you are correct. It was a  retreat for those elite few searching for a hangover free morning. No bar, no cabana boys, no sips of anything! Imagine me in rehab. It bring laughter and tears to my eyes! Of course Tinsley felt just horrible about tricking me and I might have said a few cross words when I found out she had checked in for 90 days but I quickly recovered. You know, Fifi, fun can be found anywhere and money can always be exchanged for gold!

Our stay  was really quite lovely. I went to many meetings and learned that I really don’t need 357 pairs of shoes to feel good about myself. How anyone thinks my shoes do more than make me look fabulous is beyond me but that that is the feedback my “group” gave me. I love the fine art of  being deceptively shallow. There is some step they do to deal with behaviors such as that and fortunately,  I can’t remember which one it is.

I also learned that in every place I have ever been there has always been someone who will do something to make life better. I’m quite sure Francisco, a beautiful young man who does something there (how rude of me to have already forgotten!), enjoyed his tips just as much as I enjoyed the sips of something lovely he delivered to my room every night. 

Rehab is really quite an amazing adventure! All day, every day I was told and reminded of how special and fabulous I am!  I was told to meditate on those thoughts, sleep on those thoughts, talk all day about those thought to everyone!  All of that came naturally to me as I have a very clear vision of who I am. I just think it would be so much nicer if after a long day of thinking hard one could retire to the bar as ones mind goes back over the day’s event.

At day 47 I was really quite over all that interior exploration and began to think it might be a life or death situation for me if I didn’t get out of there. I feigned an urgent appointment in the City and was out of there before the fist “grateful” of the morning crossed anyone’s lips!

A quick update on Tinsley: rehab didn't go quite as well for her. We had a lovely lunch of salmon salad and martinis yesterday!

I am free to travel the world again so please let check your schedule and see if you are free to come along!

Sincerely,

Petunia who has her own version of the Serenity Prayer: Please grant me the serenity to accept those who will not bring me a sip of something lovely, the courage to ask those who will and the wisdom to know the difference.